by Marilyn Kentz and Caryl Kristensen

M

My children are tardy,
I'm having a party
and my credit card was refused.
 
Should I repair
My damaged hair
Or buy me a new pair of shoes?
 
C: Oh, go for the new pair of shoes.
 
****
 
C

The sprinkler is broken,
The hamster is croakin',
The science project is due.
 
The ants are invading
And I am debating:
To stir-fry or barbecue.
 
M: Stir fry or barbecue?
 
****

C&M

C: Can I have a Big Mac?
M: Shall I take my prozac?
livin' on a cul-de-sac.
 
C: Can I have another one?
M: Shall I take my Valium?
Goin' on a Mommy run.

livin' on a cul-de-sac.
 
****
 
M
My hands are fermenting
My breasts need augmenting
And my face comes out of a jar.
 
I've errands to run,
Must get them all done
But my teenager's stolen my car.
 
C: This time he's gone too far.
M: Meet me down at the bar.
 
C
Our neighbors are fighting,
Their anger is heightening
'Bout problems with kids and their toys.
 
It reached a crescendo
When their kid's Nintendo
Was broken by one of my boys.
 
M: They're mad at one of her boys.
C: My God, they have so many toys.
 
 
C&M
C: I really need a Big Mac.
M: Where the hell's my prozac?
livin' on a cul-de-sac.
 
C: I'd settle for some Rice Chex.
M: Should I try some zanex?
livin' on a cul-de-sac
 
M
The teacher is calling
'Bout something appalling
My sweet little daughter just did.
 
The dinner's still frozen,
But I have chosen
To take care of my sagging eyelid.
 
C: Good luck. I'll pick up your kid.
 
C
My pants are not fitting
When standing or sitting
Do I have to go see Jenny Craig?
 
Wait, I'm having a hunch.
It's that time of the month.
I'm simply releasing my egg.
 
M: She's only releasing her egg.
C: Watch out. I'm layin' an egg.
 
 
C & M

C: God, I gotta eat again.
M: They took away her phen-phen!
livin' on a cul-de-sac
 
C: Can I have a big Mac?
M: Shall I take my prozac?
livin' on a cul-de-sac.

*
livin' on a cul-de-sac
*
livin' on a cul-de-sac