THE MOMMIES ARE GETTING TOUGH AS THEY PROCLAIM:
POWER TO THE PARENTS!

Caryl Kristensen and Marilyn Kentz, better known as THE MOMMIES, make their living joking about kids, family life and the stresses of motherhood. The Mommies' NBC sitcom of the same name, their ABC talk show, their Showtime and Lifetime specials and their recent book, The Mother Load, all illustrate their bitingly honest and comedic view on life. The Mommies have a serious side, as well. They are on a campaign to encourage parents, especially of pre-adolescent and adolescent children, to talk with one another. Once our kids enter the seventh grade and begin their individualization process, we parents often feel isolated.The kids seem to like it that way because it gives them a little more power. After all, if nobody knows what's going on but the kids, then it's easier to convince a parent that it's mean and unusual to say  "No".

WIMPS
One of the hardest tasks for parents these days is saying no and sticking with it. We weaken with pressure and do anything to avoid a conflict. See if this sounds familiar: You know in your heart that a movie like "Wild Things" is not appropriate for your fourteen-year-old but you cave in when he begs that all the other kids are going and he doesn' t want to look like a loser. You wonder if any of the other parents feel hesitant, too. Your son leans on you a little more by reminding you that his popularity is at stake. He says things like, "I'm the ONLY one not going and I look like a dork", so you cave in. We are wimps.

LOCK ARMS
It's time to stand up for ourselves, for our rights as parents, for our obligation as parents. It's hard to do it alone, though. Caryl and Marilyn say, "All it takes is a phone call to another parent. If just one other mom feels the same way and is encouraged to stand by her 'No' then there'd be two kids who have to choose a better movie. We must stick together, lock arms and say, 'NO'!"And while we're at it we can also throw in "NO" to backtalk, "NO" to laziness and "NO" to bad manners.

POWER TO THE PARENTS
"Power to the Parents" is THE MOMMIES' new credo. Marilyn Kentz has raised two teenaged boys already and now is facing the unique struggles known only to mothers with adolescent daughters. Caryl Kristensen has two boys, one in high school and one in juniorhigh. They're trying to be assertive parents, but could crumble at any given moment. Selfishly, they want other parents to say "NO" too. THE MOMMIES are soliciting parents around the world to join them in breaking out of the wimp mold. They need your support.

(ON THE LIGHTER SIDE). . . And if nothing else works RAP. Yea, RAP you unhip homey. Do the unthinkable...enter their world. There is nothing more tortuous for a young person than to have their middle-aged, slightly overweight parents attempt to bust a rhyme! It's the one thing guaranteed to give parents back the power!

Da MOMMIES give you the power tools with a new CD written especially for the "mommy stuck in the homey" entitled Livin' inda Cul-de-sac. With this new, easy method of discipline, YOU put the P back in power. Teenagers will do ANYTHING to prevent you,the supreme parent, from rapping. They cringe, they cower, they beg you to stop. Think of it as tough love of another kind.You'll have it all goin' on with lyrics like:

My children are tardy, I'm havin' a party
and my credit card was re-fused
Should I repair my damaged hair?
Or buy me a new pair of shoes.
Yo! Go fo' the new pair of shoes!
or
My hands are fermenting
My breasts need augmenting
and my face comes out of a jar.
I've errands to run, must get them all done,
but my teenager's stolen my car.
These and other even more humiliating lyrics help you take back control. You simply let the child know your intentions as in, "You won't clean your room? Oh, that's okay. Mommy will just have to go to your school and RAP for your little friends." Guaranteed immediate results.

So, get jiggy wit Da Mommies' rap song Livin' in da Cul-de-Sac!

Marilyn and Caryl have a little "Tap Number" they wrote (and perform) about trying to say "No".
THE SUCKER
NO!
I say NO. Don't think so.
If you keep on asking me, my answer still is NO.
NO..NO..NO Just let it go.
Please don't look at me like that. My answer still is......
MAYBE
OK, MAYBE.
After all, just look at you...you're such a little baby.
Answer's MAYBE. It's maybe, baby.
Do not ask me any more. I told you it is MAYBE.
Not a PROMISE. There's no promise!
Wipe that hurt look off your face and quit with all your dramas.
There's no promise. I said NO PROMISE.
Listen to your mom for once or I'll give you some traumas.
STRESS. So much stress.
How much can a mother take of torture and duress?
You're obsessed. Give it a rest.
If you keep this tantrum up, I'm tempted to say......
YES.
YES. YES. YES!
Are you very happy now? Your mother failed the test!

Caryl and Marilyn speak about living with teens:

MARILYN: You got a teen? Intense isn't it?......Well, that's where they should be living.

CARYL: The other night my husband and I were watching cops and it suddenly dawned on me that if you simply removed the drunk man in the undershirt with no teeth in the dirty, filthy room, it could be my son's room. He lives back there in his dark stinky cave and he only comes out to eat and to criticize me. You ask him something simple like, "Can you please put the lid back on the mayonnaise jar?" and he rolls his eyes up and exhales noisily. I wanna say, "You got a big fur-ball stick in there? I had no idea botulism was so unhip."

MARILYN : Yeah, living with teenagers is like watching Jeopardy every night. After awhile you start thinking, "Maybe I AM stupid" I think it's weird. I gave birth to this beautiful baby boy. I have nurtured him, I have protected him, I have loved him and now I hate him. Oh well. I've raised two teenaged boys, but I hear I haven't even cut my baby teeth yet. I hear I better just hang on to my self-esteem while I still have it. My daughter's twelve and I'm starting to see signs already. You know how we're saying to our kids when they're little and we don't want them to fight, 'Use your words'? Well, we never have to say that to little girls. They use their words like a machete.

CARYL: A friend of mine was describing her daughter the night of her first formal Christmas dance. "There she was standing at the top of the stairs in her velvet dress and her hair all swept up. She looked so angelic. And no one else in the room knew that by the time she got to the bottom of the stairs she would be spewing venom".

MARILYN : A teenager's mood is ten times their body weight. I have the answer. Grab your budding teenager, go straight to the doctor and say, "One of us has to go on Prozac...you chose. "The other day my daughter asked me to bring her some clothes and things to her friend's house. I kindly did it. When I got there I heard no thank yous . . . no. Instead she said, "You brought it in THAT bag?"

CARYL: You have a wife !!! That's exactly what we do to our husbands! (Imitating us with our husbands) "You brought it in THAT bag?" You have a wife! I need a dictionary to understand my kids. It's this new Anglo/Eubonics language. Bryce, my Danish/Irish son comes home saying stuff like "Wazup?" "Yo...yo...yo..I be chillin' in my crib."......."Wazup, wazup, wazup???" I'm so embarrassed for him.

MARILYN: I'm so out of it I didn't get that it's just a greeting. That's all. In effect, they're just saying "Hi" I don't get it, though. I actually recount what I'm doing . . . He says, "Wazup?" . . . I reply, "Well, I just got through putting away the groceries and now I'm going to thumb through the new People Magazine, then start dinner." "What is up with you, son?"


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